Saturday, March 14, 2009
Choices
The doors we open and close each day decide the lives we live. ~Flora Whittemore
As I lay awake early this morning thinking about this topic of "Choice" I realize as a parent what hard choices I must make for the benefit of one of my children. I have to allow the natural laws of free agency and natural consequences to take place so that life lessons and insightfulness are gained and hopefully a responsible, wise adult is formed.
I've never been good with sitting back and patiently letting life "happen". I'm a take charge, make things happen kind of person that wants to take control and resolve things quickly. But, fortunately Heavenly Father knows what each one of us needs and he has placed some very wise people in my life that have helped me understand that I can't control nor should control every aspect of life, especially a life that's not my own. Everyone has their own timetable and needs to learn life lessons in their own way. For me, it boils down to faith-having faith that things will work out if I make the best choices I know how, faith that my child will remember what she has been taught and eventually have enough faith in herself to make good choices-even when they're hard. And most of all to sit back and let this child make her own choices so she can learn from the consequences.
It's one of the hardest things I've had to do as a parent. Jeff and I have to constantly remind each other that it's ok to let her fail-she needs to either fail or succeed with the choices she makes. It's a daily learning experience to figure out how to support this child with love and enocuragement without rescuing her or taking away her opportunity to learn. When you see someone you love so much making decisions that often sabotage their future and even happiness, it's heartbreaking.
But I have faith that one day (hopefully soon) the life experience gained from these poor choices will make her a stonger, smarter and more insightful young lady who will come to realize that we loved her enough to let her fail and in that failure learn the lessons she needed.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
1 comment:
THAT is a very beautiful post! Before I had kids I would hear people say how being a parent is the hardest job on the planet and I used to think that meant "putting up" with the kids and wondered why parents complained. Now I know as I, too, feel that mantle of responsibility to teach them--even if that means giving them wings to fly. The same principles can be applied to a spouse, too btw, who perhaps didn't get the proper raising or learn the lessons earlier. Either way, allowing for choice and accountability is tough!
Post a Comment